Back from the war

I returned from Afghanistan August 15. August 16 I commenced in tearing out the load bearing wall separating our kitchen/dining room from the front room. It's become clear that the house was wired by a troop of chimpanzees on a 3 day coke and sugar bender. Now we have decided that the architect was likely a serial house breaker. Needless walls and corners and dark spaces are (were) the rule. I have never been the type to let a felon get the best of me, so I have dedicated my time to adding lights and tearing out walls. It's like an analogy for pure Ayn Rand Objectivism.

Even a dull man can notice that the space has opened up considerably. I had a contractor come out and give me a bid for tearing out the wall. He told me if I bought the materials for the beam, it would cost me around $700 to set the beam in, which had me tearing the wall out. Granted that mistakes vis-a-vis load bearing walls are either non-existent or cataclysmic, I elected to have a professional guide me. Or I had intended to until I went to the Global War on Terror (GWOT). Upon my return, my nerves were steeled and my gaze was set. "Mrs. Janet", I said, " Tear down this walll." Of course, she did little the tearing, so I did. I bought two 2X6X12s and a length of 1/2 inch plywood. I cut the plywood to match the boards, matched the lenth of the boards to the length of the wall, use a triangular screw pattern (from both sides) to create a beam, set up temp walls, crushed out the old, set up king studs, set my beam, held my breath, knocked out my temps and.......nothing! Which was the metaphysical perfect answer! Beams and joists should not speak so in their own way, this new beam/joist alliance is perfect. Plus, considering that it all cost me about $65 and 8 hours, I think I won.

Janet in the meantime has been in constant Beast Mode. Over deployment she lost some 45 pounds by diet change and gym time. Now she is gearing up for a figure competion in March or June. For Christmas she got Arnold's Encyclopedia on Body Building. Turns out it was the best gift ever. It's funny to see her in the gym deadlifting 155 pounds and everyone stops within 30 feet and stares. All the girls sheepishly step behind their men. All the men wish they could manage a beastly pump like she gets.

In the end, it seems only right that wild boys need a beast mode momma, a handy man pappa, and a very fine hat.