Of babies and rabbits and credit cards

Janet had the baby. It is a He-American-Man child named Manus Strider Freeman. He scored in at 8 lbs, 2 oz and 19.5 inches.

Good wife elected to go for natural birth again utilizing only her rawhide toughness and my Russian breathing techniques. Hard labor started at 8pm and baby came at 1:06am. It was textbook.

Janet's midwife, Olivia brought 3 assistants who were very helpful and knowledgeable. I enjoy seeing these earth-mama's who know their trade so well.

There were certain issues with the logistics of the birth, however. I should have set the tub up on previous days on dry runs. I did not. When the day came, it went up easily enough, but the hose we were supposed to use did not reach, so I got an outside house and hosed it off with a bleach solution. No wild North Carolina parasites gon'get my baby! But when I attached the hose to the adapter on the sink, it blew off and stripped the threads. Not discouraged, I looked back to my parents days as magnetohydrodynamics consultants and remembered that there is a faucet on the bottom of every liberty loving water heater in the land. Those without said faucets are democrats and hate humans. SO I attached my hose to my patriotic water heater faucet and out came hot water---and silt. Lots, and lots of mineral waste. She wanted natural; she got natural.

But imagine the shock when a 70 gallon waterheater cannot successfully heat 300 gallons at the rapid rate! I was not shocked. Shock is for amateurs. I had already 4 large pots of water boiling away on the stove. It took about 20 5 gallon boiling pots to get the water at the baby friendly 100 F. But it happened.

Water broke at around 12 pm and as previously mentioned, baby came around 1am. It was a success. Little to no tearing. No baby issues. And momma slept in her own bed that night.

Of course Silas and Atlas are treating him well. We never taught them to be selfish. Silas calls him "The baby brother" and "The Silas brother" and Atlas just calls him "baby". They always want to hold him and be silly to get him to laugh. Little do they know that before his Manus eyes they are hazy white blobs moving about at this point. Give him a month and he will think he came to the greatest show on earth.



As far as babies go, he sleeps well and eats well. But again, we don't expect or teach our babies anything other than being good boys. Bad children are for bad parents, we've decided.

In other news, we were able to pay off $3200 in credit cards just like that in a fell swoop. The benefits of being a paid mercenary of the US Gub'ment are endless. I decided to chop these cards up so as not to be tempted to use them again. Now they will sit; the limit being mathematically opposite of the current amount. The credit gods will continue to smile and rain down blessings in the form of a higher credit score. At this rate, if I start snorting cocaine, in ten years I could be president! We'd have closed door military tribunals and executions for terrorists, enforce immigration control, and strip non-Americans of constitutional rights when here illegally!

And now the circle of life: One of our rabbits got out the other day and was heard in our neighbors yard giving protesting shouts. Something had snatched her! A few days later, I happened to catch her after she came back and when I picked her up, I felt something was amiss with her underside. I rolled her over and she had a gaping hole in her belly! It was just a tear of the skin, nothing in the organs, but still! A gaping hole! I assembled a committee of me and the dog and we deliberated that a vet would charge us way to much to fix this rabbit, good breeder that she was and all, and she did not rate that kind of medical care. So, I took her by the back legs and reviewed how the old British gent had explained you yank the ears back and break the neck. I decided I would probably only succeed in giving her a terrific pull of the neck muscles, so I did it the American way: I whapped her against a nearby oak tree (three times). She was liberated!

I then commenced to in the skinning and gutting of her, cutting away and feeding to the dog those parts associated with her belly hole. It was his fee for his consultation. I then quartered her up and put her in a vat of non-alcoholic beer, Lawry's seasoned salt, vinegar, salt, and red pepper. I let her sit like this for a night.

I stripped the skin of fat and flesh, packed it in salt and stapled the hide to a board to let dry. Dry she did! I then put the it in a solution of rubbing alcohol and water for 3 days. Then into the washing machine! It came out alright, but it is just good for a wall hanging. I needed to add acid and alum to the water in order to make it leather. Next time I will.

But the meat! I fried it then broiled it with potatoes, onions, and carrots. I cooked it too quickly. With older rabbits you have to cook them slowly. Otherwise they are boot tough. She was.

The babies didn't mind though.